His Work Among the Luo People Of Kenya Go ... and make disciples of all nations Matthew 28:19
June 4, 1990

Fraley's Chapel Church of Christ
c/o Jeff Young
Rt. #2 Box 421
Corinth, Mississippi  38834

Dear family in Christ,

   Greetings from across the sea.  Kit and I returned safely to Kenya on May 12th.  God blessed our stay in America and our journey back to Kenya.  He protected our Kenyan family while we were away.  And He held up my American family through such a difficult time.  April and May have been the most difficult months of my life, but He is with me, guiding me, holding me in the palm of His hand, strengthening me and protecting me.  What more could I ask? Being away from my husband for a month, returning to Kenya and knowing the painful separation from my sisters and dad, and experiencing the most painful separation of death has forced me to
spend a lot of time in thought and prayer about relationships.  I'd like to share a few of those thoughts with you this month.
    Let's categorize the idea of "relationships" first.  There's:  God, His Son, the Holy Spirit, spouse, immediate family, extended family, spiritual family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers.  And as you think about these, definite pictures and values are instantly associated with each in your mind. I would venture to guess that most Americans attach similar pictures and values to these relationships.  Different people may place more importance on one of these relationships as opposed to another due to personal experience  but we all (as a people of a shared culture, Americans) can relate and understand each others system of values in
relationships.
   If we try to think about another culture and it's concept of relationships, pictures, definitions, and values suddenly change drastically.  It is as if we put all the categories in a bowl and stir them vigorously with a spoon.  Yes it's true that some of them are unchanging.  For example, God is just as much "the Most High" in Luo as He is in America. The picture of God is the same, but because of different circumstances of life between Americans and Luo's, the value of God and our relationship to Him changes.  If an American wants an ear of corn, his first impulse is to go to the store and buy one.  But if a Luo desires an ear of corn, he may first go to his field to find one, providing the crop has not been ruined by rain or wind.  He is more likely to depend directly on God to feed him.  God has a higher value in a Luo's very existence on earth.  His
relationship to God is different.  Not from God's point of view but from his own point of view as opposed to an American's point of view.  It is a relationship that an American cannot experience until he lives exactly like a Luo.
   So why has this been so much on my mind this month?  Because a missionary experiences a whole different set of pictures of values concerning relationships due to his mixed circumstances (originating in one culture and living in another).  A missionary comes to the field depending on the relationship values of his home culture.  These are not adequate, nor are they absolute when he reaches the new culture.  Out of necessity his view of relationships changes to meet the needs of the new culture.  But because of ties back home some of the old values must remain.  This can cause lots of confusion for a missionary.  And someone who has never lived
in another culture cannot begin to understand.
   Practically, it means that due to distance, many relationships back home are strained.  We know you are all thinking about us and praying for us and that's important but your ears are not here to share our daily frustrations and problems, and your arms are not here to hold us when you know we are in pain.  And we feel that too.  We are not there to experience your daily problems or to hug you when you are down.  Part of our relationship has been severed because of that.  We are left in need.  So you may think that we can turn to Luo's to fill that need.  They do in part, but because we didn't grow up in this culture, we can never understand fully their background or relationship values.  We have friends among them and many many who care for us, but not in the way you do.  Not with the understanding you have.  In a sense, a missionary is cast adrift, suspended between the two cultures, and both of them depending on him.  He sometimes feels such a sense of inadequacy.
   I think that's what I'm feeling just now.  I am inadequate.  And I feel so far from those important relationships on both sides.  I feel so far from you because of physical distance, and so far from the Luo's because of cultural differences.  And I fear that my work is suffering.  God knew what He was talking about when He said, "I am my brothers keeper".  We need each other to keep going.  God is sufficient, but your prayers help me through the day too.  I am depending on Him to make me adequate and to use me in His work, and I am depending on your prayers to keep me in mind of Him and His plan for this work.
   You mean so much to us.  And for that we thank Him.

In Christian love,
 
 

Barry, Stacy & Kit